How To: Milk a cow

Modern milking parlors use machines, but milking a cow by hand is an ancient art. Here's the "udderly" perfect way to do it.
You Will Need
* A dairy cow
* A grain mixture or hay
* A one-legged milking stool
* A stainless steel milking pail
* Milking gloves (optional)
* Warm water (optional)
* Soap or sanitizing solution (optional)
* Milk pasteurizer (optional)

Step 1
Feed the cow in the early morning with a grain mixture or hay.

Step 2
Set your stool on the right side of the cow's udder. A one-legged stool lets you swivel to be close to the udder.

Wash and dry your hands before milking, or use latex milking gloves. Gently wash the cow's teats with warm water and a commercial sanitizing solution.

Step 3
Sit on the stool and hold the pail firmly between your legs.

Step 4
Raise your thumb and grasp the front teat with your fingers together in a gentle grip, like holding a tennis racquet. Squeeze and release, alternating hands until the teats are empty.

Step 5
Switch to the back teats.

Cows sometimes get mastitis, which leads to sore udders. If you see signs of cracking on the teats, call the vet.

Step 6
Repeat milking in the early evening. You're not done until the cows come home.

Fact: One cow produces about 350,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.